Monday, January 4, 2010

Incomplete Project Essay Outline

To receive a final project grade if you have not completed your independent project, you must submit a 2 - 3 page essay on your topic by Tuesday January 19th. The essay should support your thesis statement based on your project topic. The essay should follow the outline below and incorporate any research you have done using the Google Research Document and the interview you conducted this semester.

I. Introduction (one paragraph)
  • State the thesis of your essay. What are you going to tell us about your topic.
  • Identify a minimum of 4 main points that you will discuss to support your thesis.
  • Transition into your first main point.
II. Body (four paragraphs)
  • Identify and discuss your main points and support them with facts based on your research including quotes and paraphrases that you can cite. Your body paragraphs should analyze any information your discovered about your thesis statement to support your conclusions.
III. Conclusion (one paragraph)
• You need to re-state your thesis and summarize your conclusions to support your thesis statement.

For those of you struggling with identifying your thesis statement and developing an essay around your topic, it may help to look at Milaida's first draft of her project essay. I will highlight areas where Miliada has succeeded and areas where she needs to add supporting facts and conclusions.

A DANCER I AM

Moving, acting, jumping up and down, creating new moves, putting different steps in one sequence, and being artistic is my passion. Moving my body in different angles and forms is a way to communicate with others and show people a characteristic about you. To have this talent as your passion you must be open minded because this talent it’s just not in one form, but it comes in different shapes and form, so you need to be ready to open up to new styles of dancing.


(Main Point #1 - Milaida discusses her personal connections to dance to support her thesis that this her passion and that you must be open to new kinds of dancing)This been my passion for quite a long time maybe all my life. It's been so long I can’t even remember. I got accustomed to doing different types of dances including ballet, African, Merengue, stepping, Salsa, Hip hop, and even putting martial arts into dance. With a team or without I am still as good. This is not just an art form or a talent someone will just do for the fun of it, it’s also a form in which people from different cultures use to represent their identities. I am a dancer with a great mind full of art that I like to show my talent to the world and influence others with the same talent to show off they art work.


(Main Point #2 - Milaida uses two examples from her youth to show how she became a dancer) While still being young and shy going to the park with the family, me and my sister created a crowd and being in the center of it moving to Spanish music, dancing merengue and salsa, moving our feet and hands in the same ways and hearing the crowd applause made me happy to know I took a big step. It helped me overcome my shyness and still put on a show. In 3rd Grade hearing there was going to be a Christmas show and they needed dancers, I went in to look of the dancers and joined the group, gave my ideas and even coordinated some moves in to the choreography. Joining a group is scary especially if you are shy but still I was curious so I joined the step team in school, it wasn’t so bad after all it helped me build up on my team work and leadership and become less shy. (This transitions into her next main point)


(Main Point #3 - Milaida expands on her experience with a dance group to support her last statement and becoming less shy) Being in a dance group can make you build up on being more social, working with a team, and developing leadership and commitment. Going to JHS it was my main place to shine and learn about different types of dances. Ms. Went, the dance teacher in my JHS, was a great teacher who put pressure on us to get things done and always be open to new ideas. In JHS I did many shows dancing, including African dancing, hip hop, or even acting. I learned the main steps of ballet and martial arts and put some of them steps in to the African dance. I been doing hip hop dancing with friends or by myself. It’s a great dance it’s where you mix in different movements and steps, high jumps and low, street dancing and break dance, to sexy pops and shakes. I love to party because in parties you always learn new steps and dances. For example, Reggae is a huge dance every where now and many people do it and that’s one dance I learn by going to parties. (here Milaida could say how dancing helped her overcome shyness and be able to dance socially at parties with other people. Dancing is a social activity)


(Main Point #4 - Milaida moves into adding some research to support her thesis and meet the project essay requirements. She still needs to cite some references. ) Dance is not a way to stress about being perfect, it’s actually a way to take stress off you, make you have fun, and learn new steps while you get better at dancing. Dance is not just not an art form, it also represents people from different places all around the world and it’s also part of history. Salsa is a distillation of many Latin and Caribbean dances. Each played a large part in its evolution and cultural diffusion. Merengue originated from Dominican Republic and Haiti. Salsa and meringue are two dances that mostly Hispanic cultures use to express themselves. Ballet came from Italy and migrated to France. African dance came from Africa and people also use this form of dance to celebrate festivals, funerals and even in compactions. Reggae is a blend of dance hall and cumbia, which are Latin American genres all together to make one dance with many different movements that first originated in Jamaica. There all different types of dances all around the world used to represent different cultured and used by people that enjoy dancing.

(Main Point #5- Milaida supports her earlier statements about why dance is an important art form) Dancing is not difficult just dance all the dances as long as you can and the sit and think what new moves can you create, it’s all about enjoyment and being artistic, having fun, and accomplishing the goal of the reason you dance. Dance is a talent that is also used to exercise and also way to reduce stress. I dance every day but it’s not just exercise or work to me, it just happens without me knowing. I dance while walking, standing still or even sitting down. Dancing it’s my passion and I love it. Dancing makes me happy when I am sad, makes me excited when am bored, and makes my feet move to the beat of my heart and the music in my head. I use every floor I step on as my studio. I believe there is no right or wrong time or place to dance, I practice everywhere at all times cause as we all know practice makes perfect but I am not in search of perfection because in dance one movement mistake can become a new step. Dance is moving in a pattern anyway and keeping your steps clean and neat. This talent sounds easy I bet but it sure isn’t, some people dancing is their talent and others just like the idea of dancing so they learn it.

For a long time now dance been my passion and I believe that it is my talent. Dancing is one characteristic of me that shows people who I am and what I love the most. Dance is a creation full of art through history with many different meanings. Dance was a part of cultural diffusion that helps different dances and people spread around the world. Moving, bringing art to the floor and creating shows is my passion and its all in dance. I am a dancer and that’s what I love the most.


Overall Milaida's essay sets out to explain why dancing is her passion and why it's important to her and the world. What she needs to add to the essay is a little more research about the history of the different styles of dancing. She can easily accomplish this by looking up websites and information about the styles of dance on the Internet. She needs to cite where she got some of her information by including the author's name after the quote or where she paraphrased her information in parentheses.

Please check the following rubric for more information how this essay will be graded.