This Weeks Lessons

Writing Your Essay

Wednesday

Now that you have developed both a thesis question to guide your research and a thesis statement, you need to begin to formulate your supporting paragraphs. A good essay requires you to support an opinion or describe a process or event with factual information.

To help develop the body of your essay today choose three ideas, concepts, or facts that you have researched on the Internet and write a brief paragraph about how each supports your thesis statement. Type them in Word, but email me a copy of the paragraphs today.

For example: Michael’s essay is on early African-American athletes to play in the NBA and the obstacles they faced.

I learned that the first African-American basketball player wasn’t Nat “Sweetwater” Clifton, because he only signed a contract with the NBA. The first player to actually step out on the court was Earl Llyod in 1950. There is some dispute though, because Chuck Cooper was actually drafted by the Celtics in 1950. These were the first African-Americans to break the color line in professional basketball. Because of them, players like Michael Jordan and LeBron James are now able to command multi-million dollar contracts and represent the NBA. These early players are the historical precedent for the topic (Source: Wikianswers.com)

These are facts that explore the history of the African-Americans in the NBA. Based my interpretation of Michael’s thesis statement how could Michael develop this paragraph? What else could Michael write about to support his thesis? What questions could he ask?

Thursday

The three paragraphs you emailed me yesterday should have given you a good start on developing the body of your essay. Still, three paragraphs like the example paragraph above would not be enough for a two – three page essay. You need to develop your paragraphs further by elaborating on ideas you probably just touched upon.

For example: Devona has already sent me a first draft of an essay, but it is really three paragraphs loosely connected to her thesis question “How does a band form an identity?”. Her first body paragraph states:

In order to have success from your band you must first form a band. I know you wondering just how to form a band? I am here to tell you how. You must find 3 or more friends who play different instruments (including vocals) with no more than two of the same instruments. These people MUST share your creative thinking, and must be committed to the practicing schedule. Once the band is formed you can begin JAMMING, this is the beginning of building a band identity.

Devona’s paragraph is full of ideas about how to form a band, but makes a lot of generalizations. I know several bands that are purely instrumental like God Speed You Black Emperor or Explosions in The Sky. Forming a band also doesn’t require friendship, some people hire musicians to play instruments that they play in the studio themselves. A good place for Devona to start developing her first paragraph would be to research an established ‘indie’ band.

For example: One of my favorites bands is Neutral Milk Hotel, an indie rock band led by singer Jeff Mangum. The band was formed in the mid 90’s in Athens, Georgia as part of the Elephant Six Collective. Mangum was joined on a farm in Athens by several like-minded musicians and friends who recorded an album called On Avery Island. The Elephant Six was a loosely defined collective of bands that shared an independent recording label to distribute their records. Neutral Milk Hotel went onto receive critical acclaim for their next album In an Aeroplane Over the Sea. Unfortunately, Mangum quit the band in the late 1990’s to pursue other interests such as writing children’s books. The communal mystique of the Elephant Six recording label, Magnum’s creative song writing, and the band’s limited output has given the band a cult following and almost legendary identity in the indie music scene.

Now, I know all of the this information from reading about and following the band for years, but I could look it up and get more detailed facts from the biographies on their websites and articles about the Elephant Six and Neutral Milk Hotel. What Devona needs to do to really push her first paragraph is find an example of a successful indie band and delve into their history. What did it take for them to make it as a band? What instruments to they play? How do they dress? What kind of music do they identify with? Punk, rock, emo, hardcore, grunge, metal… All of these things contribute to a band’s identity.

Use your time in class today to develop and add to the paragraphs you emailed me yesterday. These should be the basis for your essay.

Friday

Today you need to email me the rough draft of your essay at mr.powhida@gmail.com At this point, you should have your intro paragraph and at least five body paragraphs. Please use your time today to organize your essay and write a brief conclusion that summarizes the main points in a way that supports your thesis statement. The mark of a really good essay is that you are able to draw some conclusions by synthesizing facts and opinions that you might not have really been aware of. A good essay helps you and the reader reach some understanding about your thesis or see the topic in a new light. Think about the most important things you learned, the things that surprised you or made you more interested in the topic.

I will be checking my email in Miami this weekend, and you will have a 100 point quiz based on simply submitting your essay. You will lose 10 points a day until I receive it. If I do not receive the essay by Monday you get a zero on the quiz.